I Battle

Inadequate inadequate

The battle cry I ring

Help me lift this heavy sword

The words resounding

Inferior inferior

The battle ground feels hard

Help me lift this plastic shield

My scars from its shard

Failure failure

The battle gear is fallen

Help me lift this boring armour

My hand is all too swollen

I battle with my inner fears

I battle with the world

I battle with the enemy

Whatever it may hurl

My vision is blur

I cannot really see

Who I struck with my sword

Is it my enemy?

Until I realise

I struck my Lord

I battle with my insecurity

This plastic shield has cut me

I battle with my failing

This feather armour shall fail me

Around I see red and scream

Terrified to feel the pain

Then I realised wounds of mine

Were never mine again

Beneath my feet the one I struck

And all around the blood

Alive and healed and perfect

I stand amidst the flood

The searing pain that lingers on

The sorrow that drowns my heart

The fear that shakes me constantly

As I pick from my skin each dart

I could cry till I am blind

And fall to my shattered knees

I cannot stand no more

Let me sign those treaties

Failure insecurity weakness

I embrace

Until the day I see

Your perfect glorious face

My battle cry I sing it out

This battle be not mine

But yours oh Lord

Make it thine

My battle cry tears of sadness

Lift me to see your joy

Uncover before me the evil

And the sin I should destroy

Knowing the blood that flows

May be restored to me

And breaking my heart

Helping me to see

The one I struck was not myself

Nor my enemy

But Lord it was you

Your blood has saved me

My battle is still ongoing

I have to fight till I die

And many times I feel like giving up

Help me stop living this lie

My battle cry Lord let me sing

Let it be a song

Bearing my heart and soul to you

Everything I find wrong

I stand on the victor’s ground

Battered and broken

But knowing this war continues

For you have never forsaken

ella

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