What Life is this?

What life is this in leaps and bounds

And forthrightness replayed

I cannot help but leak a grin

As my life wastes away

 

What life is this that I should live

And let it long for more

A whisper in the deepest groan

Laughter till I’m sore

 

What life is this it crawls like planes

That shoot across the sky

And swims and waddles in the ocean

From my first myriad cry

 

What life is this describe my mind

Convoluted neatness I require

To build my life on things below

A crystal encrusted empire

 

What life is this I can’t uphold

When life itself shall end

And life I still live in this way

In control of all I can

 

What life is this I do not know

When I control so much

And yet it has been foreordained

Feelings and fantastical touch

 

What life is this when you lose your mind

And everything falls up

Make a sense of one or two

I try to fill my cup

 

What life is this that I live

In conversation of meaninglessness

And Ecclesiastes much it says

Nothing could be worse

 

What life is this the end is far

And I refuse to change

Listening on the squabbles

Of academia so very strange

 

What life is this should I understand

And frivolity as I speak

What path shall I walk down

What anthem shall I seek

 

What life is this that dawdles

And harps about the past

Present times are difficult

Imagine what would last

 

What life is this when life is long

And time flies by so slow

I yawn and yelp and recognise

I’m going with the flow

 

What life is this if I should live

Just like how this all sounds

So wrong so twisted so random

What life is a life that counts?

 

Today, someone asked me what is the point of life, and my special term course in school has also been discussing the inevitability of life and what it means to grasp meaning. Hence, a reflective and yet random poem on what life is about and how much i yearn for a life that counts despite all the things i do that do not count as described by the convolution and frivolity of the preceding stanzas.

 

Yours sincerely,
Ella

Fear

With the disappearance of so many airplanes, it has dawned upon me that life is really unpredictable and fragile. I could be laughing with my friend one day and she could be gone the next.

And then i always think beyond just death but the implications of how the act of not thinking about death can cause us all to lead an unfulfilled life.

I’m most of the time afraid of lots of things. Just 3 days ago, I was afraid to jump off the taller “cliff” in Adventure Cove into a 4.0m pool. I’m afraid of the fall and the uncertainty it brings. Also, I have realised that I am so terribly afraid of letting people know of this site. I always ask my friends to be more confident of themselves and to publish their works because we will all one day need to do so anyway but I think I should be preaching this to myself instead.

I fear judgement, I fear criticism. I fear feeling and actually be inadequate in the very area I have been interested in since I was young. My dream was to always share my life and my thoughts with people but I have done nothing to tell my friends about this site. Will anyone even be interested in the first place?

i hate running out of ideas especially for my thoughts of music. I must admit, that i am an escapist. When I don’t feel confident, I just stop thinking for days or months but when i am driven, I could think all day long.

To those people who have bravely shared their pictures, portraits, thoughts and profile freely on the Internet, I admire you.

I just suddenly lost all the passion for practising my instruments and reading musicology-related books and I really really dread going back to study.

I need that fire back.

Isabel

The Relevance of Classical Music in the 21st Century

Lawrence Kramer – Why Classical Music Still Matters

I have read just but tens of pages and yet I feel I have gained tremendous insight from it. In the introduction to musicology, one always reads about subjectivity in music. I guess that is the power of music, that it is highly personal and reflective. Music speaks to each and every person. As a result, many can assert that since music speaks to each and every one of us, everybody’s reading is acceptable and right. However, let us pause and ponder over the implications of such thought. If everybody’s personal reading of a piece of music is correct, is then there still an absolute interpretation of a piece? Should we consider the original intent of composition? But then again, was there at all an original purpose for which the composer wrote the work or was it just to pacify a patron?

I can never agree with Susan McClary’s insistence of phallic references prevalent in Classical music. It is skewed and to me, too extreme and assertive a reading of composer’s works. It has never occurred to me, before reading her short article on Jack and the beanstalk, that Beethoven’s music should contain such explicit references. Having performed Beethoven’s piano sonatas a couple of times in front of a public audience, i have found during my practices that Beethoven’s sublime music speaks to me not in that I can actually identify what the music is exactly about but in that I feel a sense of belonging in that musical language and my soul cries out for more. Isn’t it reductionistic to classify works in a certain specific category? Should we take into account other factors like the political circumstances in which the work was written?

Many have suggested that Classical music is no more relevant today, especially since popular music has taken over the world. As for me, Classical music isn’t just about the mesh of sounds and how beautiful or complicated or sophisticated such music can be, but rather the history behind such beautiful music and knowledge of the composer’s life increases my love for it.

What about you? Are we in the near future going to forget such a genre of music for other more contemporary genres?

Music reflects the beauty of the soul and the beauty of the Creator

 

 

Cheers,
Isabel

And nature calls

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The sun rises, and the sun goes down,
and hastens to the place where it rises.

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The wind blows to the south
and goes around to the north;
around and around goes the wind,
and on its circuits the wind returns.
All streams run to the sea
but the sea is not full;
to the place where the streams flow,
there they flow again.

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All things are full of weariness;
a man cannot utter it;
the eye is not satisfied with seeing,
nor the ear filled with hearing.
What has been is what will be,
and what has been done is what will be done,
and there is nothing new under the sun.

Ecclesiastes 1 : 5-9

I do not know what meaning the Ecclesiastes hold for you, but for me, it expounds on philosophical truths that still deeply confound me.

Some say that time is cyclical; seasons come and go and will come again. The others say that time is linear; all things have a beginning, a present and an end. But I say that time, essentially, is just a medium for predestined events, regardless of its cyclical or linearity.

And Man exists in this space of time, trying its utmost to make a mark in this world. Unknowingly, Man strives to become time. Yet, all is futile because Man is just another being subjected to the whims of the universe. Eventually, all ostensible achievements and milestones are fruitless because:

All is vanity and a striving after wind, and there was nothing to be gained under the sun.

But it does not matter. My place in this universe is a precious gift unto me.

Yours,
Aoede

I think but therefore I am not.

I have been thinking about life, my existence on Earth and about my purpose in life. I can’t think out things into existence and I cannot ignore how I have taken many things for granted.
I don’t believe we can think human emotions to be a result of a series of impersonal events that happened billions of years ago. Talking about the deeper things in life just makes me realise that life is sacred and I am a result of God’s creation.
On another note, I have been reading about the uproar on pinkdot sg and its implications on society and the banning of certain children’s books that spread homosexual content.
Are we too extreme and too biased if we should consciously ignore our evolving society? What then is the purpose of education if it only results in Singaporeans showing concern for what only interests them or what is beneficial, but not what truly matters?
Have we become too caught up with ourselves and the darned social media that we forget we are but one of 6 billion people in the world? Why should our country revolve around us and not us the other way around?
I’m not saying everything should be accepted and nothing condemned but if we should see something really wrong with our society then censorship is the last thing we should be doing!
Many issues burden me and all I can say is that I am thankful God has given me the opportunities and time to reflect upon societal issues. I feel like my calling as an educator is just getting stronger as the days past.

 

Cheers,
Isabel

Of the World

I’m trapped within the boundaries
of every broken bridge
I’m lost within the fog
at the edge of the ridge

I’m wedged between the metal bars
the poles that hold me in
my fingers between the narrow grail
grasping onto sin

I’m standing on this mountain top
the wind threatening to blow
over the cliff into the ravine
falling to the deaths below

weak and waiting wails I cry
but there is an ending line
where hearts are hard and cold
and where I am left behind

I stand within the clouds
inches from the sun
consumed by the raging waters
on water could I run

sulfur burn I reconcile
what can I understand
to know the metaphor is literal
I refuse to comprehend

fire and flames engulf my mind
imagination is what I had
till I discovered it was wrong
definitions that drove me mad

I long to see and savour
that one sweet lasting day
but now I’m caught in the vineyard
of this world’s tasteful play

I’m singing in the valley
riding on the wind
toying with the fire
gasping for the sin

overflowing is this wonderment
this control this contempt
it strengthens my brittleness
no men is exempt

I cry out I call to be woken
leave me not unshaken
of the world am I left
and left utterly broken

 

 

Yours Sincerely,
Ella